I don’t feel there is much to report this week and I fear this is becoming a bit of a trend. Yes I still did a draft everyday and limped through another sonnet (one I am pretty sure I have learned in the past so it went in a wee bit easier for once) but I did not submissions again this week and no competitions. Mainly I just feel busy with stuff; planning and delivering the sessions for the youth theatre and the Primary school, looking after my kids and the kids of other people, keeping up with the day to day cooking/cleaning/general drudgery of making sure the house doesn’t look like a complete dump. I know I am not writing enough. What I don’t know is exactly what to do about it.
I look at my week to see where there might be more time. I don’t watch TV (apart from Broadchurch but that is David Tennant so that’s allowed). I don’t seem able to find time to read. I pretty much go to bed around nine and I don’t work well at night anyway. I try to get up before others and more and more it seems to not work. Either the kids or my husband is up and I need to be alone to work. Looking at my diary for next week every nursery morning session I have (my only child-free time) is taken up with planning, meetings or actual session delivery. Mostly I don’t feel focussed and I know the consequence of that is I won’t make progress with my writing.
The more that goes on the more disconnect I feel between myself and others, it always interests me to see how quickly you can fall of the virtual radar. The answer s bloody fast. When I first became ill I recall a long period of not being active on social media and a grand total of zero people lamented my absence. That’s just the way it goes. Then there is my health.
I am in pain a fair amount of the time, mainly in my throat. It’s generally low level thankfully, but constant low level pain can be really draining. Everything I do has a price. I drive a long distance then the next day I know I am going to be in more pain than usual. After I teach I know I need the next day clear to rest. It’s just another thing eating at my time. I feel time starved at the moment in a way that I haven’t for ages. I can only hope it will pass and keep chipping away a tiny bit each day. I haven’t stopped writing completely, this, I hope, is at least something and oddly today I feel quite calm about it all. It’s all a learning process, there is always something to gain.
By next week I want to have done at least one submission and one competition. That is all, up the game a tiny bit and then I need to really sit down and look at why my life is so crammed right now and what I can do to give myself some breathing space.
Here’s hoping everyone else has lots lovely time and space.