This will be a nippy wee post and I am writing it on Wednesday night so not really a reflection on the week either. I am up to my eyeballs with stuff to do and this weekend I will be on a course in Glasgow so no chance to post then.
I am searching for secrets. The secret to what I am meant to be doing with my life, the secret to how to stop rubbish from my past infiltrating my current reality, the secret to good creative practice, the secret to squeezing in everything I want to do in a day so I don’t feel like it’s all bum wipes and dishes (not at the same time obviously) and, perhaps most pressing, the secret to feeling well again.
I had a bit of a flair up today and I am disheartened. I want to be better. Someone tell me what to do. I will do it. I have cut out caffeine, I don’t drink anymore (cry, cry), I stopped eating chocolate (cry, cry again), I go to bed at 9pm. I just want something to work. One thing has clarified for me this week however and that is what my focus should be for now. I remember hearing someone say, and I don’t remember who, that you should start with the thing that is causing you the most pain. So I need to start with this. There’s no point in worrying about careers, education, businesses etc etc if I am not well enough to manage any of them. I want to go to France, I can’t go in this state.
In other news: I’ve done my drafts, they appear to be the only thing I manage at the moment! I went to Aberdeen, had my ten minute piece performed by a wonderful actress, it was a great experience although it has possibly thrown up more questions than it has answered. I am in the middle of running an Easter school with the youth theatre. It’s grand if a little full on. The new term will start Monday, I need to get organised for that. I did some one to one work with a student on an audition speech, she got offered a place on the spot. Her success but I like to bask in the reflected rays.
Any way a fast post although I am not in any way furious, I just like a bit of alliteration.