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Title : Logan
Director : James Mangold.
Writer :
Release : 2017-03-01
Language : English.
Runtime : 135 min.
Genre : Action, Drama, Science Fiction.

Synopsis :
Logan is a movie genre Action, was released in March 1, 2017. James Mangold was directed this movie and starring by Hugh Jackman. This movie tell story about In the near future, a weary Logan cares for an ailing Professor X in a hide out on the Mexican border. But Logan’s attempts to hide from the world and his legacy are up-ended when a young mutant arrives, being pursued by dark forces.

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Quality : HD
Title : Below Her Mouth
Director : April Mullen.
Writer :
Release : 2017-02-10
Language : English.
Runtime : 92 min.
Genre : Drama.

Synopsis :
Movie Below Her Mouth was released in February 10, 2017 in genre Drama. April Mullen was directed this movie and starring by Erika Linder. This movie tell story about An unexpected affair quickly escalates into a heart-stopping reality for two women whose passionate connection changes their lives forever.

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Title : Fifty Shades Darker
Director : James Foley.
Writer :
Release : 2017-02-08
Language : English.
Runtime : 118 min.
Genre : Drama, Romance.

Synopsis :
Movie Fifty Shades Darker was released in February 8, 2017 in genre Drama. James Foley was directed this movie and starring by Dakota Johnson. This movie tell story about When a wounded Christian Grey tries to entice a cautious Ana Steele back into his life, she demands a new arrangement before she will give him another chance. As the two begin to build trust and find stability, shadowy figures from Christian’s past start to circle the couple, determined to destroy their hopes for a future together.

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The Scrapbook Life

I had scrapbooks as a kid.  I liked to cut things up and stick them, it was fun and I have always liked a good project.  I still have a little book I made out of the cuttings of shows I had been in as I was growing up. Scrapbooks are playful and they have their place. They are also, well, scrappy.  I doubt you would want to base your life on it.  But here I am, living the scrapbook life.aton-mebel

What am I on about?  I wish I knew. But what I am trying to say is that my life is made up of bits and pieces. It isn’t a singular thing.  There is no one picture that cuts across everything I do and if I am being honest, I wish there was

I have always been drawn to people who have had a focus.  I find the singular picture life appealing.  Those people who have their lives wrapped up in one thing, one piece of paper.  They know what they are all about. Which is not to say that they don’t have many parts to their lives but that they have one theme that reaches over the top of it all, like a bridge to sanity.Watch Full Movie Online Streaming Online and Download

My life is not so neat.  It feels scrappy. There are bits and pieces everywhere. I haven’t done any one thing for a very long time.  I have all these little cut outs making up my world.  Of course the family, the kids and all the normal things, but really I am talking about the work I do.  I have a craving for some kind of mastery, a specialism.  But I am too scattered for that, at least for now.  I do too much dabbling.

A little bit of teaching, a little bit of writing poetry, a little bit of writing scripts, a little bit of writing here on the blog, a little bit of directing, a little bit of performing, a little bit of movement based work, a lot of little bits.  I am just pottering around with all these unfinished paintings.

One of two things needs to happen.  Either a) I find a way to focus it down, pick my spot and grow my garden right there.  Or b) I learn to live with this mad allotment, keep scattering my seeds all over the shop, hoping that something might grow.  I don’t know which is the right answer. The first feels calmer to me, kinder.  The second just feels like reality.

So if I am in this scrapbook life for now, what does that mean for me?  How do I cope in the chaos?  With that feeling of not really belonging because I think this is what is at the heart of my search.  I want to feel like I belong, like I have some sense of community.

I think an artist (if I dare use that word and I do because I think we are all artists in our own way,  however humble) needs community, a sense of belonging. The people around them that get the work, the world of the creative.  People to share with, learn from, teach, trust, discover with.  Probably the best part of my teaching job was my lovely department, it was a joy to work with such beautiful, kind, generous, clever and supportive people.  On a Friday I didn’t rush off because I just wanted to bleather for bit.  At the moment  I have no one to bleather with and I miss it.  We all need a bleather.

There are no answers in this post because I have none. If I work it out I will write a book and be rich. You can all come on holiday with me.  But until them I must just muddle along best I can, try and grow my garden, try and manage all the scraps of my life, see if I can make some kind of picture out of them. Make something beautiful, make something necessary, something that matters

My daughter has spent half the day cutting out little pictures, she likes to scrapbook too.  I stop her to ask – What is mummy for?  She thinks for a moment and says ‘For the heart.’.  Before I have time to think awwww she does a little fart and smiles, then says ‘Or for the fart.‘.  And I think she is probably right.

Chronic Illness and Work – a few notes

Today I am paying a price.  It’s not too big a price, I am lucky. It’s pennies, not pounds.  Still it is a price none the less and the bank account is a little smaller than it was before.  Today, if I am lucky, I will find ways to replenish stocks, to balance the books again so that tomorrow I am ready to go back out there.  But there are no guarantees.Заборыvisualcage

For three years now I have lived with chronic illness.  I don’t like to admit this actually, it’s like Voldemort, don’t want to name the bastard.  In fact my Dr once made me cry when he told me off for my persistent denial at having a long term condition.  I didn’t….don’t…want to give in.

But life is not a battle and the truth is I do have a long term condition.  And I am learning everyday how to manage it better.  But there are no absolutes, no definite answers, nothing is black and white or certain. And this causes confusion.  For me, yes, because I don’t know what I can get away with before I trigger a flair up, but also for others.

How is it I can manage to do some things and not others.  Why on this day can you do x, y and z but today you can’t even manage a, b and c?  People don’t understand or assume you are lazy or lying or both.

And the answer?   I don’t know.

Seriously.  I just don’t know.  My body is a mystery to me these days.  It’s not reliable.  It tricks me, lies to me, lets me down.  But it’s mine, so I have to work with what I have to the best of my ability. What this means, most of the time, is learning the art of pushing through.

When is it safe to push?  When is it not?

Truth be told I HATE having to push through.  It scares me.  What if I push too hard and I end up really floored.  What if I can’t get up? What if I am so ill I can’t cope?  If you’ve been there once then the fear of going back never really leaves you.

Towards the end of my time as a teacher the hardest part was having to push through.  Push through pain, nausea, bone tiredness.  Teaching is not the sort of job where you can have a quiet day if you feel a bit off, there’s no hiding by the photocopier available, no work from home option.  Each time that bell rings a class is going to file its way in and if I was in pain then it was just awful.  Nothing to be done but try and push, always wondering will this be the day when it goes too far and my body breaks.  But there were worse things than that. There still are.

It’s the silence. It’s not being able to tell anyone because no one wants to hear that you are not well AGAIN.  Who cares.  And because people don’t believe you.  And back then I didn’t really have much in the way of proof.  Of course now I have a big black and white report from a specialist but it doesn’t change much, people don’t care, they still don’t believe you.  And why should they, it doesn’t make much sense.

If last week you managed to do all that then why today can’t you do anything?  If you can run a youth theatre rehearsal all day then why can’t you just get a job? If you can manage to go to France and do a week of physical theatre work then why are having to go to bed this afternoon?

It doesn’t add up.

But here’s the truth.  It doesn’t add up for me either.  I don’t bloody know.  I wish I did.  God I miss my old life, knowing my body would always work, not having to deal with constant pain, being able to do things that I loved to do, not having to chose between two options because you know you can only physically manage one of them.

But here are some ways that it might make more sense.

Firstly – I do pay a price. Most times.  Yesterday, yes, I rehearsed all day.  By mid afternoon I was in pain.  That night I was useless. Today, I am treading as carefully as I can.

I can handle teaching my youth theatre on a Monday night only if I clear my Tuesday.  So I can go to bed if needed, and it is often needed.

In France, yes it was six hours a day of movement based work.  But I had full autonomy over that movement.  I could work gently if I needed to, I didn’t need to push hard. Secondly I had no other responsibilities. So no cooking, cleaning, childcare.  I worked, I rested. That was it.  And I also had two days where I did struggle, I was sore.  I just had to work with it best that I could in that moment because the work was beautiful and I loved it.  That always helps.

I am in bed by nine most nights and I sleep until seven.  I do all I can to keep my diet plain and simple so my nervous system doesn’t kick off.  I can’t run anymore even though I loved it.  No gym either.  They just set me off.  So it’s yoga or nothing and yoga has been a bit of a life saver truth be told. I love moving and I hate not being able to do as much as I would like.

I know people wonder often why I don’t just go and teach again.  I just don’t believe I would survive it, physically, emotionally or spiritually.  I might be wrong. Never say never and the parts of the job I loved I miss but right now no, I think it might break me and I am already a bit to broken for that.  I don’t think I would mend a second time.

At the same time there is a sense of lostness that goes with not really having a job.  Yes I deal with all the childcare and yes I run the youth theatre but I am not employed and sometimes that feels a bit rubbish. Like I am a bit rubbish because no one is paying me to do things. I don’t much like it.  But I am lucky, lucky that on most days I can minimise my moments of having to push through pain, I can take breaks when I need to, I can monitor my pain levels and adjust accordingly.

I will say this before I go.  If you haven’t had to deal with chronic illness then you don’t know.  It sounds obvious but really, you don’t.  You might think you do.  You might think you’d just get on with it that you would be different somehow, that you would push through not matter what. I can tell you now you would not or if you did you would not do it for long and still be on your feet.  Our health is a precious,  fragile thing and once it is broken you don’t get to play hard anymore.  Not because we are lazy, not because we don’t want to but because we want to keep ourselves in the game the best we can.

I am playing the game the best I can. It will not always be enough.  And I am sorry for that.  But I am painting my pictures with the colours I have left, I will make them as bright as I possibly can.

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Quality : HD
Title : The Lego Batman Movie
Director : Chris McKay.
Writer : Chris McKenna,Erik Sommers,Seth Grahame-Smith.
Release : 2017-02-08
Language : English.
Runtime : 104 min.
Genre : Fantasy, Action, Animation, Comedy, Family.

Synopsis :
Movie The Lego Batman Movie was released in February 8, 2017 in genre Fantasy. Chris McKay was directed this movie and starring by Will Arnett. This movie tell story about In the irreverent spirit of fun that made “The Lego Movie” a worldwide phenomenon, the self-described leading man of that ensemble—Lego Batman—stars in his own big-screen adventure. But there are big changes brewing in Gotham, and if he wants to save the city from The Joker’s hostile takeover, Batman may have to drop the lone vigilante thing, try to work with others and maybe, just maybe, learn to lighten up.

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Title : Manchester by the Sea.
Director : Kenneth Lonergan
Release : November 18, 2016
Language : en.
Runtime : 135 min
Genre : Drama.

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‘Manchester by the Sea’ is a movie genre Drama, was released in November 18, 2016. Kenneth Lonergan was directed this movie and starring by Casey Affleck. This movie tell story about After his older brother passes away, Lee Chandler is forced to return home to care for his 16-year-old nephew. There he is compelled to deal with a tragic past that separated him from his family and the community where he was born and raised.

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John Wick: Chapter 2(2017)


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Title : John Wick: Chapter 2
Director : Chad Stahelski.
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Release : 2017-02-08
Language : English.
Runtime : 122 min.
Genre : Thriller, Action, Crime.

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Movie ‘John Wick: Chapter 2’ was released in February 8, 2017 in genre Thriller. Chad Stahelski was directed this movie and starring by Keanu Reeves. This movie tell story about John Wick is forced out of retirement by a former associate looking to seize control of a shadowy international assassins’ guild. Bound by a blood oath to aid him, Wick travels to Rome and does battle against some of the world’s most dangerous killers.

John Wick: Chapter 2(2017)

Some days…..

…are just days for eating chocolate before noon

and some days are just days

for being alone, a favourite room

and some days are just days

for blankets, beds and books

and some days are just days

for the letting off of hooks

and some days are just days

for thinking, pen and paper

and some days are just days

for putting off till later

and some days are just days

for lighting up the fire

and some days are just days

for letting go of a desire

and some days are just days

for holding your own hand

and some days are just days

for having nothing planned

and some days are just days

for having to let go

and some days are just days

for being OK with I don’t know

and some days are just days

for long and little walks

and some days are just days

for slow and tender talks

and some days are just days

for giving dirty laughs

and some days are just days

for things that cross our path

and some days are just days

for dusk right through to dawn

and some days are just days

for letting things be wrong

and some days are just days

for the now or never

and some days are just days

for staying dry in stormy weather

and some days are just days

for not thinking of the cost

and some days are just days

for taking off and getting lost

and some days are just days

to let tears do their thing

and some days are just days

to tune up our hearts and sing.

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Director : Tim Burton
Release : September 28, 2016
Language : en.
Runtime : 127 min
Genre : Drama, Fantasy, Adventure.

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‘Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children’ is a movie genre Drama, Fantasy, Adventure, was released in September 28, 2016. Tim Burton was directed this movie and starring by Eva Green. This movie tell story about A teenager finds himself transported to an island where he must help protect a group of orphans with special powers from creatures intent on destroying them.

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