Birthday Blues

I’m away on the third leg of my Leeds-Lectour-London tour so I am writing this in advance as I will be busy at the National Theatre doing wonderful workshops with my soon to be new best friend Simon Armitage as well as workshops on directing and movement.  I will be in my happy place (workshop addict).  If only going to workshops was a job, I’d be sorted.RPK Tramplindekor-okno

Next week it’s my birthday.  I’m trying not to dread it.  It feels kind of rude to do that.  I get to be here after all, not everyone does.  But our culture says it should be painful so it does feel a bit  nippy.  Birthday’s and New Year are the times we torture ourselves with all the ways our lives are not where we want them to be.  This time of year also marks three years since I first became unwell and my life started to unravel or rather it started to become a great big dirty knot.  A knot I’m still trying to untangle.

Turns out I’m not so good at knots.  Should have paid more attention when I was a Girl Guide.  Last week I was talking about jigsaw puzzles and sometimes it feels like the different pieces of my life just don’t fit together, that the things I want are in conflict with the practical realities of my circumstances.  But bollocks to it, it’s my birthday, I choose to be happy.

Actually on the day itself I will be at another workshop (told you, addict). This time with Conflux and the skill share programme.  I will be spending three days next week in Glasgow doing work with Alan Richardson on mask and, because it is a skills exchange (although I don’t have any actual skill, just stolen stuff) I will be leading some things too.

I didn’t submit this week, it was on my list of things to do but packing and planning and making food for the freezer for when I was away interfered.  I did some writing though and am back to sharing work with my lovely poetry friend Ellie who is kind enough to give me feedback on my work.  Apart from that I’ve done some yoga, drunk a lot of tea and taken my mother out to lunch in an attempt to soften the baby sitting blow. And I’ve been gearing up for the birthday blues but blue is my favourite colour so all should be well.

 

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